Friday, April 20, 2007

The more action, the better

The Colgate Vs. Crest wars are heating up.

When Colgate came out with Cavity Fighting Action, Crest responded with Cavity Fighting Action Plus Whitening. Their toothpaste was even double-striped. The board of directors at Colgate fired their entire management team on the spot.

The new team was hired with one mission, one goal. Beat Crest. Come out with a toothpaste that made a double-action toothpaste look like an antique bone-saw.

They succeeded. Now there's Colgate Triple Action.

High fives all around!

Colgate triple action has Cavity Fighting Action Plus Whitening plus Fresh Breath!

Dude. Sweet.

Pay no attention to the tiny writing on the bottom of the box: there's only one active ingredient. The same, sole, active ingredient in all toothpaste - Fluoride. And yeah, they charge 300% of the bargain brand's price because they came up with triple action FIRST. Marketing is a game for geniuses. I can't understand the complexities.

The moral is this. More action is better. Crest has already got a quad-action toothpaste in the final phases of testing... The NZ Boys are on the horse as well. It's Shock's 26th birthday, and the b*&^#es ain't leaving till 6 in the morning...Calvert, Shock, and Dunne are down on the South Island racing towards Christchurch - where there's rugby and booze for all.

Recently there's been an opening night for Fiddler on the Roof (complete with Topol!), there's been Aunties visiting and causing ruckus with piles of All Blacks jerseys, there's broads and dames and crusaders. It's all still twinkling in the city on the harbor, even as the days get shorter. Hey, that just means the nights are only getting longer.

Happy Easter, Happy daylight's savings, Happy International Calling Card Day. We wish you the best. May all your action be ever greater.

2 comments:

Harris said...

Im going five stripes.

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